come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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