I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
