Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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