Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
