Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize