Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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