Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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