i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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