I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
