is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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