So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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