there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
