She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
