Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
