I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
