I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
