You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize