We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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