I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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