You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
did i just pee glitter
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
