Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
