More tranny stories later!
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
