Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Someone shattered a urinal.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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