eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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