I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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