That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
