how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
