HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh god it's open bar.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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