I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
