so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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