Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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