Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
3pm strippers are depressing
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
