It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
