how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
