Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize