when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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