Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
