If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
