i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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