one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so let's talk penis.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
