i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
