I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
