So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
