Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
