Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.

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(330): View more from Ohio

STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.

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(586): View more from Michigan

How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?

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