i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
