i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
