Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
