He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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