Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
