I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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