i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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