so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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