why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
