I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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