From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
