it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
