I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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