I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
