i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize