Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
