ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
