Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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