ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
