oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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