he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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