just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
