I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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