so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
