Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize