Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
