Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
