I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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