It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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