so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
