Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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